Thursday 2 April 2020

Back to Basics [2]: Testing, testing...

Where do I begin? 

Where has the last 3 year's of my life taken me exactly (since I last put word out to the world via this realm)? 

To put it simply, into hiding I guess. Before we were essentially made to hibernate this year due to the world having gone, in layman's terms, crazy (which is horrible to think about in itself) I was already running scared. I was in a constant battle with time like being stuck on a hamster wheel going so fast I just couldn't get the timing right to be able to jump off, re-evaluate, refresh and restart. So, instead, I just kept going, sticking to the same routine, doing nothing out of the ordinary and blending into everyday life as much as possible ensuring no one thought any different. To be honest it was working in that respect...I was 'successful' in my feat...and a feat it truly was. My daily struggle to appear 'normal' and like I was in control of the path my life was taking was a difficult one behind closed doors but it only ever reared its ugly head slowly and subtly to the outside world and usually only when I let it. It sounds like a foe I have tagging along and in a sense it is, one which I cannot seem to lose but must try to challenge and accept is always going to be there in some way.

This is just the beginning of my journey in accepting that and realising that I'm definitely not alone...